Luke Alexander

Saw a great quote today by a commenter over at Mark Watson’s blog by Samuel Beckett:

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

It’s from Westward Ho!, a play I’ve never seen, so apologies for having entirely divorced it from its context.  But as a standalone quote, it appeals.

I’m not much of a quote collector, but I like this one.  In an industry where we spend a lot of time defining, and then measuring, success – I like the idea of positive failure.  I can think of plenty of times where a statistical failure has become a massive success story.  And without insinuating that that is what Beckett was trying to say, I’m going to take advantage of his useful ambiguity to make him say it anyway.

A lot can change in ten years.

For example, ten years ago I would have rejected that sentence as the worst kind of truism.  Now, on the other hand, it’s a friendly, familiar cliche that does just the job I want it to.

Because a lot has changed in the last ten years.  On a global scale, sure, but also on the microcosmic and individual scales of our daily lives; of the lives of everyone across the planet.

Now, the past tense of change (if we dispense with linguistic formalities) is, or should be, experience.  When your foot slips, or your heart palpitates, or your stomach churns: at the same time, neurons are firing, linking and settling like leaves resettling from a gust of wind.  Or that’s how I imagine it anyway.

My point?  Glad you asked. And in reply, let me say this: that I learned a lot in 2009.  And let me show you this: my list of five things that I learned.

1. Writing is really easy

I wrote a novel in November.  As I put my 50,000th word on the page, three hours before the final deadline, I surprised myself not by my relief in having pushed through the intense challenge of the previous thirty days, but in how enjoyable and pleasant they had been.  Writing is easy.  You just have to do it.  Then you’ve done it, and it’s written.

2. Writing is really hard

Approximately two minutes after that epiphanic realisation, I remembered how individually painful each word had been, and once the words had come, how terrifying it had been to move on from each sentence.  I don’t think there was a single paragraph in that novel I was happy with – and few I was capable of reading without wincing.  My biggest success throughout the project wasn’t writing a novel – nor was it even finding the time to do so – but in forcing myself not to tear the whole thing up and start again every time I opened the document.

3. I don’t belong in the Middle East

This learning may well belong to 2007, or to 2008.  But 2009 – as the year I returned to the UK from Abu Dhabi – was the year I became entirely certain that it was true.

Which isn’t to say that I dislike life in the UAE.  Some great friends, incredible opportunities and challenging work gave me an experience I would never regret… but at the end of the day, more than anything I found myself longing for country pubs, brisk walks in the cold, public transport, old friends.

I’m sure I’ll return to the UAE from time to time when work takes me – but it was a nice realisation that, though I had proven capable of handling living in a foreign country, the expat life wasn’t really for me.

4. I don’t read enough

I think there is a massive chunk of – at least British – society who go around thinking they are regular readers / gamers / film watchers / theatregoers / musicians, but who on reflection can’t really back it up.

For most of 2009 I definitely fell into that category – on almost every account.  Despite working for a gaming company and obsessively shuffling my books around bookcases, during most of the year I didn’t really have a game or a book on the go at any time.

Inspiration doesn’t just promote creativity, it makes you happy, sociable, interesting…  so I’m on the watch out for similar slips into the creative doldrums during 2010.

5. We are in the middle of a modern renaissance

Once I was reading, gaming and partaking of the moving image once more, I realised that the last few years has seen some incredible creative output.

The Edinburgh Festival this year was honestly the best I’ve ever seen it – perhaps an innacurate barometer, but it supported the rest of my experiences throughout the year, which saw superb TV, film, art, gaming…  enough to warrant a second post, I feel, on the cultural highlights of the year.

And certainly enough to make me extremely excited to see what 2010 has in store.

Much to my surprise, I managed to complete my NaNoWriMo novel, clinching the 50,000th word of the month some time after 9pm on 30 November 2009.

What to do next, I’m not sure.  But I think that come 2010 I will at the very least fill in the gaps, tidy it up and turn it into something I’m happy for my long-suffering friends and family to read.

So I’ve completed my first day of writing as part of NaNoWriMo, and I’m now very excited to be taking part in what I’m sure will be an absolutely exhausting month of novelising.

I’m enjoying having the impetus to write without worrying overly about every little technical or factual nubbin.  I’m loving having the excuse to sit down and write rather than putting it off on the basis that I’ll never be able to finish it anyway.

I’m also very aware that tomorrow’s 1,667 words will be a hundred times harder to write, and that there will be days where I simply can’t fulfil my writerly obligations.

In the spirit of sharing, here’s some words from the first two pages of my novel:

• smacked
• whitebait
• mysterious
• scholar
• dyed
• bundle
• disappointed
• hugging
• temple
• merchantile